it isn't important anymore. i convince myself, again. somehow "lost track" of time. didn't realize it was the 11th until that text came in. it's like, you could have treasured when the term "us" still existed. and now that its all ended, trying too hard to gain some empathy, regardless from whom isn't working. nice try, but then again I guess your efforts are just futile. cant emphasize on how much of a joke you have made out of everything. it's just so overwhelming...

sometimes I hope I am able to forget. building my walls higher cos its easier that way, in the sense that I wont have to rethink about past situations which hit me all the time and make me go thinking all over again. like if I really could, I would forget everything we once shared. i wish it was that easy.

seeing me always alone in school, s says i'm a loner... and i was thinking: nothing wrong with that right?

at this point in time, i cringe at the idea of growing attached to someone. honestly i feel that i'm a sucker for relationships, be it friendships or relationships. this prolly explains why my previous friendships and relationship did not work out; i failed to handle them well. unsure if this would work out for me but i hope everything goes well cos i don't wish to go through that phase of life again.